Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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