dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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