Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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