No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize