I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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