I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
