I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
