Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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