I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
