Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
