I wannas sexs uuuuu
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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