do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
the raccoons are back...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
