New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
