yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
