i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
