Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
