apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
