i don't like sucking hair
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
