so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
