we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Are my feet made of real feet?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
