remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize