somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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