Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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