Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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