No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
