Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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