I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
