Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
