dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
