You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I didn't notice because vodka
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
