I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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