Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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