He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
