New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize