i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
