You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
