My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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