I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
