I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
