The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
