I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
