WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All the doctor said was why
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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