I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
