What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize