I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
