he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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