I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
