I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
