I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
