I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
