its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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