it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
