MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
