the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
