Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
