Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
