Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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