Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
