I showed him my bush... on skype.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
