I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
