are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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