id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
