did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
