ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
