YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
