Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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