HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
