He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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