Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
