It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you didnt know i had herpes?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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