she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
