apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
